UPDATE 2: August 13th
So today we are going to visit the Holywell Citizen's advice bureau. I am so scared. I have high anxiety and doing something like this is a big step.
I can't even ring up places which is most the reason I am so much in trouble as I'd rather get in debt than make a simple phone call. I end up sweating and shaking and sometimes end up saying stupid things on the phone.
I'm so worried that no one can help. I feel physically sick right now.
I am already on 100mg sertraline for depression, anxiety and OCD but I think I will try and contact my psychiatrist for another appointment ASAP for more support.
I don't want to ask for donations, I REALLY don't but if anyone wants to, they will of course be gratefully accepted. I can't offer anything in return, this is all my fault anyway.
My paypal is neonpossum[at]gmail.com but PLEASE DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO. I'd just feel worse.
If you want to, anything would help.
We'll see what happens today with the citizen's advice, I'm so scared but I hope they can help. If they can't I really don't know what I will do.
UPDATE 3: August 14th
Tomorrow we have to go to court for a summons regarding unpayment of council tax. We were TOLD it was sorted by the council numerous times. We even went in with our social worker. But it seems maybe we forgot to send in a form here or there, I'm not even sure anymore.
I am SO scared, ashamed and anxious about it. I don't know what we're going to do. People are telling us to calm down but all I can think is the worst. I'm getting to the point I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I've never been to court before and I have no idea what to do or expect.
We owe £600-something apparently but we literally have no money to pay them, I don't know what to do...
I didn't have any luck getting a loan, I don't have a guarantor. Some WONDERFUL people on here made donations which is just the greatest thing ever <3 Thank you all SO much! We managed to get some food in the house yesterday so I'm incredibly grateful for that!!
My bank has, in the meanwhile, FROZEN my business account as it's so overdrawn and now I can't even check the balance. I know I put maybe £100 into it but I don't know how much it is overdrawn now as I can't see it, haha. I will try and ring them tomorrow if I can get the courage.
On the plus side, I got an appointment with a debt councillor on Monday so I really, REALLY hope he can help me.
Deteriorating fast. My depression is dragging me down and I just want to sleep. I really am starting to not give a shit about anything, I've started bad habits again too. I've been eating healthy and exercising but it's just all the same.
Everyday grind and ugh. I want to meet with friends and talk and be happy but I just can't. I want to go out for coffee and talk about furries and ponies but everyone lives too far away.
I am so lucky to live with Charlie right now but I am just scared of dragging him down too.
Refunds to Customers
Please, and I mean PLEASE do not harrass me about owed artwork. I have had multiple emails to the point I am terrified of checking my inbox as I know that harshly worded emails lie in the shadows there.
I cannot refund you when I physically and literally do not have ANY money. I just can't. You will get your artwork, I am just not in the best place to deliver my best right now.
I am not an art machine. You don't just put money in and art comes out.
I am so stressed, upset, angry and depressed I don't know what to do.
I just want to run down a highway and never stop until I dehydrate and die.
I am so lost and I don't know what I am supposed to do.
UPDATE 4: August 16th
I'll have to think of a way to make up for it, not sure yet!
Court Order - Update
So we went into the council offices at the time of our court summons with our youth worker and he helped us a lot. They took a look at our letters and said that they had sent out previous warnings and bills regarding council tax. We hadn't received a single thing.
We think it might be because 1) we are a new build 2) we have both English and Welsh addresses and 3) the postcodes of the two addresses don't match. Plus Charlie's initial was incorrect, though he admitted forgetting to change that.
We have no fricking idea where the rest of the bills went, but they insisted they sent us them. THEN they said it was an error anyways and we should have been getting benefits but there was an error on the system. We went in and SORTED THIS in MAY. They said it was our fault for not following up on the changes after 3 months, but 1) we're new to this 2) we were told it was sorted so we kinda put our faith in them.
I got a bit anxious and worried about the address thing so they said they are going to email us the bill instead. So that's much better. They cut the council tax bill from £600 to £270 for a period I wasn't claiming JSA, so we have to pay this but the council guy advised we can pay £30 a month, which I think we can manage.
In the end we didn't even have to go INTO the Law Courts as it was sorted beforehand. I got sick and worried for no reason. Everyone told me the court summons was just a scare but well, it worked.
So today I got the email bill, told them I want to pay £30 a month and hopefully soon they will confirm that. So that's one thing sorted for now.
As I am being completely open and honest here, I calculated my total debt to be £4500.00+ This is hugely scary for me but I know there are people worse off... This is manageable I hope.
On Wednesday we went to the Citizen's Advice Bureau as many of you suggested and they looked at my bills and such. They forwarded me to a debt advisor who we'll see Monday in Deeside. I'm to take all my bills and incomings/outgoings/budgets and with luck, he can help.
He rang this morning to confirm the appointment but of course I got the whole 'Is this Matt?' 'Speaking' 'Matt?' 'Yes, speaking' *silence* 'Is this Matt Jones?' 'YES'. UGHhhh. Voice, break already.
Business Bank Account
I have no idea what the fricking balance is as they have FROZE it!
Update #2: I called them just now (2pm) and they said my account is frozen because it's overdrawn, it's -£215 or something, and I can't access it or anything until it has funds in it.
The payments that went out to make it overdrawn were one direct debit for £255 which I have NO idea what that was - I have opened an investigation, and a second one for £80.00 (same).
Hopefully I'll find out what the heck is going on sooner or later.
Hopefully shit will be ok on Monday. I'm nervous about that... .being open about my debts is a HUGE, HUGE step for me. This is scary as hell. I know I will be judged, and this probably seems a bit like attention whoring.
I just want to put things out there to show that I AM trying to help myself, and get this sorted.
Thanks for everything, guys